Here Comes Goodbye... for now

It has been exactly two weeks since I recieved the phone call that has forever changed my life. While I am not ready to make "the post" yet, I did want to share the Eulogy that I wrote and gave at my Daddy's funeral. It was by far the hardest thing that I have ever done in my whole life.

Let me first say that God gave me the strength to speak and it was something I needed to do for my Dad as well as myself. It was my way of honoring his life and the legacy he left behind.

I will warn you that this is long...very, very, long. When I finished writing I didn't go back through and proof read for errors in grammer or in punctuation. I didn't read it again until the day I read it aloud. So, I appologize for any errors that you find. I still don't want to go through and proof this. It consists of pure, raw emotion and all of the pain, and beautiful memories that I will carry with me forever.

Here it is:

Everyone who knew my Daddy knows that he had a way with words. He found the perfect words to say in every moment of life; everything from big life events and small family gatherings to one on one conversation. He had beautiful words to offer: words to comfort, words to praise, words to encourage, words to make you smile.
While this was one of my favorite things about Daddy, even more I love the fact that his actions in life spoke more than his words ever could. He lived with integrity, honor, kindness,
faith, and most of all he loved with everything he had.

As his daughter, I am honored to share with you the man that my mother, my brother and I knew. He was a son, a brother, a husband, a father, a grandfather, a friend, a teacher, a servant, a
coach, a mentor, and a protector. Each one of the roles he played in life were always performed to the very best of his ability. Daddy was so many things to
so many people it is impossible to illustrate every facet of his character in such a short amount of time. I hope that this small tribute will honor the man that meant so much in the lives of so
many. This is my final gift to you Daddy, and I know you can hear my words now.

Daddy was born Roy HowardBrooks III to Lois Maddox Brooks and the late Roy Howard Brooks Jr. on May 6, 1947 in Miami, Florida. He graduated from Miami Sr. High in 1965. After high school he attended Miami-Dade Junior College and received an Associates of Arts degree. During his time in college he enlisted in the United States Army Reserves were he took care of wounded
soldiers at a military burn center in Texas. Daddy also spent a number of years working with the YMCA as the Youth Camp Director. In 1974 he graduated from the police academy
and started his law enforcement career with the Metro-Dade Sherriff’s office. After 8 years of service in that department, he accepted a position with the Palatka Police Department as a patrol
officer. He was soon promoted to the Detective Division and later to Detective Sergeant. While working for the Palatka Police Department, he was the firearms instructor, defensive tactics instructor, a certified instructor for criminal justice standards, and worked with the DEA on
several cases. Daddy returned to the patrol division and retired from the City
of Palatka as a Master Sergeant. After moving to Georgia he accepted a position at Gordon College Police Department where he ended his 37 year law enforcement career as a Sergeant.

At the age of 33, Daddy met the love of his life and wife of almost 32 years, Mary Lee. It was a blind date that started it all and my mother knew after spending eight short hours with my father that she would spend the rest of her life loving only him. Their first official date was on a
sailboat, just the two of them and Daddy always told me “I fell in love with
your mom the day we spent together sailing. I knew without a doubt that I never wanted to leave her side from that day forward.” As a child, I remember hearing their love story over and over. I could see the pixie dust and the magic each time they told their story and I truly imagined them as a real life fairytale.

As an adult, I know the love they shared far surpassed any fairy tale ever told. I am not referring to the superficial boy meets girl, falls in love, gets married and lives happily ever
after. I am talking about real love, true love, a real life soul mate; someone to share everyday life with, someone that is so in tune to your own thoughts and feelings, your reactions and needs that words are no longer necessary. Real love is not
perfect. It involves disagreements, work, and most of all commitment. It wasn’t until I sat in a chair in the corner of Daddy’s ICU room 13 months ago that I understood fully what type of bond my parents actually shared. My whole life I knew they loved each other. I knew they were happy, and committed, but it was in that moment and the ones to follow when I truly understood. As I watched my father’s aching need for my mother to be near in the worst moment of his
life, and her desire to comfort him, to take his pain as her own and to never leave his side I knew that their love surpassed mere marriage and even society’s definition of love. It was the first time that I truly witnessed the bond they shared together and it was one of the most beautiful and heart breaking moments I will ever see in my life.

My brother and I have been blessed with two parents that not only loved each other, but love each of us more than anything in this world. Our parents made every moment of our childhood special and set an example of family that I only hope I will be able to emulate with my own children. We grew up in a house full of hugs and kisses; I love you’s, laughter, encouragement, and understanding. They made us their focus and top priority, helping us grow and understand the joy life has to offer as well as how to shoulder the disappointment. It is because of their love
and the sense of family we gained in our childhood that Roy and I grew up to be the people we are today.

The term Daddy’s girl does not begin to illustrate the love and respect I feel for my father and the pride I have felt my entire life being Roy Brooks’ daughter. Growing up as a police officer’s daughter, I understood the sacrifice my father made every day to protect and serve the
community. He walked out of our home and willingly put his life on the line to see that justice was served and our community was safe. Most little girls grow up thinking that their father is a hero. In my case my father was not just my hero, but a hero to so many. He chased away my bad dreams in the middle of the night and fought real life “bad guys” during the day. His job consisted of late hours and shift work, holidays and weekends. Through all of this, he never missed one Christmas, thanksgiving, birthday, ball game, school play, graduation, or prom. Even
if he was in his uniform on his lunch hour, he made time for my brother and me. I knew that I mattered to him, that my life mattered to him. I knew that no matter how big or small my achievements, they made him proud and that made me work twice as hard to see his beautiful smile.I have always known that I didn’t need to be famous, achieve some monumental goal, or be the best at anything for Daddy to love me, I just needed to be me. It was as simple as that.

Daddy taught me how to cherish every moment, to absorb not only the major moments in my life but to relish in the laughter and joy I experienced every day. He taught me how to take mental snapshots so that I could replay theses memories and reflect on how truly blessed I really
am. We spent hours talking of our life together, our family memories, and reliving both the good times and the hard times. As a little girl he made me feel cherished and adored. He taught me to
respect myself, and to believe in myself. He helped guide me as a teenager, and helped me understand the pressures I would face as a young adult. He raised me to respect him, but not to fear him. I was never afraid to come to him with my mistakes, no matter how large
or small. He never judged me; he listened and helped me figure out a solution by relating his own life and his own mistakes to mine. “Michelle", he would say, "you are going to make mistakes your whole life baby, it is what you learn from those mistake that counts. No
matter what you do, know that I will always be here, and I will always, always
love you”.

The most important lesson my father taught my brother and I was how to love God, how to turn to the Lord for comfort and for strength, to be grateful every day that I draw breath. To be
humbled by God’s grace, and to love the Savior that sacrificed everything to forgive our sins. To know that forgiveness came at a high price for Jesus, and that it is a gift and not my right. I know that because of his faith in Jesus Christ, I will see him again.

Even in death my father continues to teach me, and in my heart I know he will for the rest of my
life. I know that over the course of my time with Daddy, he has been preparing me with the knowledge to live without him. I promise to listen for your voice Daddy.

Not only was this man a wonderful father, but if it is even possible, I think he was an even better
grandfather to my children. He found the perfect balance of spoiling them rotten and helping me to shape then into who they will become as adults. They were his pride and joy. They made him smile over this past year when no one else could. Daddy was as active a part of their life as
he was in my childhood. He came to every play, program, and ball game he could. He coached my son Ryan in t-ball, and that will be forever one of my most cherished memories. Anyone who spent any time with Daddy at all, no doubt heard countless stories of his grandchildren, and how they made him smile.

While driving this week, I was trying to think of some way to help my children understand this loss. A song titled , “these are the words I would say” from Sidewalk Prophets came on
the radio and I could hear my father telling me to pass this along to his
babies.

John, Ryan, and Anna- If your Pops could tell you anything it is this-

Be strong in the Lord and Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things I already know,
God's got His hand on you so Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray. Even though you can’t see or hear me, I am always with you. I love you.

The last year of my father’s life was far from easy. It held moments of great sorrow, but also moments with him to treasure. We were able to share another year of life with him, and he fought every day to make that happen for us. I can’t begin to imagine the battle he faced trying to stay here with us for as long as he could. At the end, there were no confessions of love and forgiveness not because he couldn’t make them, but because they were not needed. Daddy spent
every moment of his life showing us how much he loved us. He lived his life to the fullest every day and loved with all of his heart.

I know that my father was not perfect, but he was the closest thing to perfect I will ever see this side of heaven. He was my protector, my teacher, and my friend. I will miss him every day
that is left of my time here on this earth, but I rejoice in the fact that I will meet him in Heaven and we will never part again.

I love you Daddy.